I've lost myself

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Funny fact: I'm tired of funny facts.

The more I fight, the more I clearly see the things going through my stomach and stabbing me just like a knife in a way that I just can't take it anymore. I don't know where or how I am and I hope somebody helps me with that, but I'm still lost, inside of a dark and cold room, just waiting for someone to turn the lights on and lead me to the right way... the right direction.

What if there's no right direction? What if we're here just for the moment. enjoy our fears and face our dreams as they really are on our own. What if? Maybe if I stop asking myself this I can go on with my life.

Geez... I look just like 17 year-old teenager who just felt in love with the school's hottest girl.

I'm just a mess right now and I'm not quite sure why, but I just know that the media ain't saving the day no more and no one even cares about, because the guy on TV is just an asshole.

Well, live your life and let it goes. Let the pain floats on the dark sea and the silence reach a brand new volume while you're sleeping. Yell it! Don't you never try again... It'll only happen once.

Let's try to be clear.

I'm only happy when I'm in my misery, I miss those times when I was that stupid teenager with nothing but dreams... In some others words, reality knocked me out. Really hard. I want to try it again. I want a new chance, so I'll make it right this time. I'm going to build something strong, may I?

That's probably one more of those new-year promises that never really come up, but I still can't stop wondering myself, what if?

Well, Why have you lost yourself? That's another question I'll never get the answer for and I don't know if it's right to care about it or just ignore like the rest of my life, well... I guess I'll be dead by sleeping too much, or you will... Ignoring this fucking thing that's fucking killing my soul. I should be happy and I really think I am, but I'm probably ignoring my thoughts again, just because they sound really stupid or too immature.

Why am I still waiting or can't I just stop caring at all? Well, that's probably because it gets all messed up when it looks everything okay. Well... or maybe it's just crap from my head. Fuck you, life. Fuck you, silence. Fuck you.

I should be sick and dead by now. Why can't I?

Let's move on, folks.

Tks.

The winter has punished me.

But more than the winter, your absence has tortured me.
I remember when we entwined in bed for a whole night of love.

Now the nights are cold and I'm sorry to miss you.
Only a few messages on cellphone kill, bit by bit, the deep ache that I feel for miss you.

Would like to wrap you in my arms, kiss you on the neck and caressing, softly, your legs.
Into ecstasy on hearing your voice again.

But you're not here. you're far away.

The brightness of your eyes and your sweet smile always comes to my mind.
Your body's scent and taste of your lips make me tremble.

Wish you were here, at least for one more night.
Together for warm each other.

I'd like to stare into your eyes, at least for one more night.
and all other of our lives.

But you're not here. you're far away.

During this and perhaps other winters.

  "Marooned" by Pink Floyd

I'll see you on the Dark Side of the Moon

First you Breathe and then come Speak to Me,
but don't spend your Time and Money On the Run
because Us and Them - those ones with Brain Damage - are going to
The Greatest Gig in the Sky!
So, wear Any Colour You Like
and let's go before the Eclipse.

"The Great Gig In The Sky" by Pink Floyd

Hey, folks... today's the world day of rock, as you know, and I'm here to celebrate it. Wrong! Okay, as we can see the rock'n'roll (the good one) is already dead and we have no good bands anymore. Wrong again.

Please, meet: Black Crowes, the band. (Wikpedia)

"Shake Your Money Maker" (1990) by The Black Crowes

They've released a album in 2009 called "Before the Frost... Until the Freeze" with 20 tracks of blues-rock, an awesome album, by the way.
This is not suppose to be a review article, but I wanna talk about a band who makes a pretty good music on rock'n'roll.

Here's the track listing:
Before the Frost
1. "Good Morning Captain" – 3:24
2. "Been a Long Time (Waiting on Love)" – 7:47
3. "Appaloosa" – 3:35
4. "A Train Still Makes a Lonely Sound" – 4:23
5. "I Ain't Hiding" (C. Robinson) – 5:57
6. "Kept My Soul" – 5:23
7. "What Is Home?" (R. Robinson) – 5:13
8. "Houston Don't Dream About Me" – 5:05
9. "Make Glad" – 4:18
10. "And the Band Played On..." – 4:12
11. "The Last Place That Love Lives" (C. Robinson) – 4:57

Until the Freeze
1. "Aimless Peacock" – 6:40
2. "The Shady Grove" – 4:42
3. "The Garden Gate" – 4:21
4. "Greenhorn" – 7:12
5. "Shine Along" – 4:47
6. "Roll Old Jeremiah" (C. Robinson) – 4:40
7. "Lady of Ave. A" – 5:20
8. "So Many Times" (Chris Hillman, Stephen Stills) – 4:53
9. "Fork in the River" (C. Robinson) – 4:11

The Robinson brothers (Chris & Rich) made one of the best 00's album...

Ok, they recorded all the songs in live and the second disc of the masterpiece you just cand download on their official website with a password that comes with the first disc bought -
A perfect way to fight against piracy - but what I'm trying to tell you guys is that: rock stills lives on these good bands... they create new and good things, of rock'n'roll music.

But... is it all rock'n'roll? No really, we have the classical and instrumental "Aimless Peacock" with another vision for album's second part.

The whole "...Until the Freeze" is something like the first one, aforesaid...  a perfect combination.
and of course... one of the best thing i've ever heard since 2009.

Enjoy it!

...flying away.

You'll be never prepare to die. to live.
Leave the entire world and fly away, buddy.
to be free, to be happy. to be dead.

but die... just die. and don't you ever come back to this world.
the heaven now is full of peace and happiness ... you've got to be there.

you live there, now... you're ready. to rest in peace.
in heaven... just flying away.

don't forget yourself, you're important.
don't try to be happy alone, they're also important.
don't try to keep yourself alone, you'll be dead. by a shotgun.

and the surrealism ends right here... with balloons... just flying away.
with no reason, no-where to go.

just...

You are being watched.

#1 - This is not my favorite way
don't you ever saw the eyes on the wall?
don't you ever heard the gossip about you?
should it.

They're looking for you, trying to see you fall down.
They're watching for you, trying to see your mistakes.

Everytime you fail, they'll have a picture with your shame. and...
everytime you create something, they'll be there to copy it.

So... watch your back and keep safe.

#2 - The easy thing.
Alright, alright... it's kinda paranoid, but not totally... you really should watch your back and try to move yourself alone, you know? you are alone in the world... you and yourself. Yes, it's kinda dark, but you'll survive, or don't... well, you still have your family, but stay alert.

The eyes are all over the place.

Today was a nice day, my head hurst like hell, but... was a pretty nice day. I've some juice on the fridge and cookies, so... I'm pretty fine, in fact... better than any other day of this week.

Probably the cold makes me painfully well.

He had a dog, wich name was "Porkchop"

Flying through the sky,

looking how bad the things go, down there...

People are hurting themselves and then praying for a new car.

Are you angry with the dog's mess?

The kid was crying alone at kitchen.

The kid's toy is now broke.

No one cares about.

Pain, hope, weep and pee.

The pet was buried on the garden

and the grass starts to erase all the memories,

forever and ever.