Funny fact: I'm tired of funny facts.
The more I fight, the more I clearly see the things going through my stomach and stabbing me just like a knife in a way that I just can't take it anymore. I don't know where or how I am and I hope somebody helps me with that, but I'm still lost, inside of a dark and cold room, just waiting for someone to turn the lights on and lead me to the right way... the right direction.
What if there's no right direction? What if we're here just for the moment. enjoy our fears and face our dreams as they really are on our own. What if? Maybe if I stop asking myself this I can go on with my life.
Geez... I look just like 17 year-old teenager who just felt in love with the school's hottest girl.
I'm just a mess right now and I'm not quite sure why, but I just know that the media ain't saving the day no more and no one even cares about, because the guy on TV is just an asshole.
Well, live your life and let it goes. Let the pain floats on the dark sea and the silence reach a brand new volume while you're sleeping. Yell it! Don't you never try again... It'll only happen once.
Let's try to be clear.
I'm only happy when I'm in my misery, I miss those times when I was that stupid teenager with nothing but dreams... In some others words, reality knocked me out. Really hard. I want to try it again. I want a new chance, so I'll make it right this time. I'm going to build something strong, may I?
That's probably one more of those new-year promises that never really come up, but I still can't stop wondering myself, what if?
Well, Why have you lost yourself? That's another question I'll never get the answer for and I don't know if it's right to care about it or just ignore like the rest of my life, well... I guess I'll be dead by sleeping too much, or you will... Ignoring this fucking thing that's fucking killing my soul. I should be happy and I really think I am, but I'm probably ignoring my thoughts again, just because they sound really stupid or too immature.
Why am I still waiting or can't I just stop caring at all? Well, that's probably because it gets all messed up when it looks everything okay. Well... or maybe it's just crap from my head. Fuck you, life. Fuck you, silence. Fuck you.
I should be sick and dead by now. Why can't I?
Let's move on, folks.
Tks.
